Ten Year Reunion

Today I received an invite, through Facebook, about my ten year reunion. First of all, it’s amazing to think it has been ten years, and now I am receiving an invitation through a source of communication that didn’t even exist when I graduated! Immediately I thought: Absolutely Not Going To This, At All! Everyone hates reunions! So my mind was making some pretty big judgments about what the experience would be like, and of course they were all negative .

Part of being mindful is not judging, and I horribly failed in that moment. But, instead of sending an impulsive, and regretably somewhat snide response back, I “paused”. I often find that “pausing” after having such an emotional response to something, but before acting on it, keeps me from making an a** of myself. Pardon my language.

Part of being mindful is describing the experience. Description helps take the judgment out of it, and balances the emotions with the rational part of myself. So I took some time and described the situation:

1. I got an invite to see people I have not seen or heard from, except maybe once through Facebook, in 10 years.

2. I do not know who is going to be there.

3. I feel uncomfortable not knowing what the situation will be like (feelings are not judgments).

4. I can ask my friends that I am still in touch with if they are going. If they are, I will more seriously consider going.

5. I do not have to respond today. I can wait until after the first of the year.

Okay, so you get the idea. By describing what was going on, I was able to sort out what was really going on (I was uncomfortable about not knowing what the situation would be like). And I was able to come up with a reasonable solution (ask friends and wait to respond until later). Now that's much more reasonable that an embarrassingly shameful Facebook message back to the poor soul organizing this event.

Life is full of surprises, and of unfortunate events such as reunions. But before reacting, take a moment, notice your experience without judgment. You might be surprised what reasonable action you might take.