Gratitude

People have a lot of different feelings about Thanksgiving. Some choose not to celebrate it, instead spending the time remembering the oppression of native peoples by settlers in this country. Others use it as time to remember part of our nation’s rich history or think about things or people they’re thankful for. People who are recovering from an eating disorder, grieving a loss, or experiencing family discord can have a particularly difficult time with the holiday.

Personally, I tend to have mixed feelings about the meaning of Thanksgiving because of the implications for Native Americans. However, despite having mixed feelings about the history of the holiday, I believe that a very valuable exercise that often comes up at Thanksgiving is expressing gratitude.

When I have hosted Thanksgiving in the past, I ask everyone to go around the table and talk about something they’re thankful for (yes, my friends can verify this!). People seem to dislike it at first, but ultimately it ends up being a wonderful way to get to know people better and reflect on our blessings.

Sometimes it is so easy to only see what we lack or want instead of what we already have. This year, as I reflect on what I’m grateful for, many things come to mind, including my friends, family, spirituality, books, nature, and art. I can look back on a year of memories since last Thanksgiving and notice many people and experiences that have brought me joy. I try to express my thanks and appreciation to people who enrich my life, and I find that it is more difficult in times of stress and worry. However, I notice that if I am mindful of each experience as it happens, it is easier for me to be thankful in the moment. As John F. Kennedy said, "As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them."

Expressing gratitude doesn’t only have to happen on the last Thursday in November. Making a gratitude list can be a great way to start every day. Simply take a few minutes when you wake up to mindfully list what you are thankful for, even just five or ten things. You might be surprised about how it changes your perspective for the whole day.