A few weeks ago, Colorado Candidate, Ken Buck, appeared on a television program and compared homosexuality to alcoholism. Some have interpreted his comment to mean that he was saying Homosexuality is a disease, which has raised some concern. For the past I have been thinking about his comment and the reaction to it.
Recent studies have shown that sexuality is based on more on genetics than choice, thus there is a biological component. I'm wondering if Ken Buck was trying to say that homosexuality is biological, like Alcoholism, which is also considered to be genetic. However, even if that was the case, the comparision is still concerning since Alcoholism is a disease and is a problem, where any type of sexuality (i.e. heterosexual, gay, lesbian) is not a disease and its not a problem.
Colorado Psychologist, Dr. Sarah Burgamy responded to Ken Buck's comments last week at the One Colorado press conference. Click this link if you would like to hear what she had to say:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0H3APrbNMk
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Friday, October 22, 2010
Managing with shorter day blues
The first day of fall was a few weeks ago, and now the days are getting noticeably shorter. Fewer daylight hours often means that people will start to experience more depressive symptoms: tired, irritable, lack motivation to do things, feeling down and out or "blue".
If you are noticing these symptoms, here are some little things you can do to help manage through the winter:
1. When the sun is out, make sure you are in it. The more sunlight that your skin is exposed to, the more Vitamin D your body will absorb. Of course, please wear sunscreen to avoid cancer, but get some sun. What if its freezing out? That's okay, you can stand/sit by a window.
2. Make social engagements with friends at least once every week or two. People tend to hibernate during the winter months, leading to feelings of isolation and loneliness, so get out, go to dinner, grab coffee, see a movie, go to the museum!
3. Eat healthy. Winter months usually bring holiday treats. Although they are tasty, be sure you are still getting your fruits and veggies, in addition to proteins and carbs. A weary body can lead to a dreary mind set.
4. Exercise Regularly: Did you know that studies that exercising regularly has the same impact as taking an antidepressant? A brisk 30 minute walk, take the stairs at work, go to the gym. Do something active a few times a week, and you'll find you feel better over all.
If you are noticing these symptoms, here are some little things you can do to help manage through the winter:
1. When the sun is out, make sure you are in it. The more sunlight that your skin is exposed to, the more Vitamin D your body will absorb. Of course, please wear sunscreen to avoid cancer, but get some sun. What if its freezing out? That's okay, you can stand/sit by a window.
2. Make social engagements with friends at least once every week or two. People tend to hibernate during the winter months, leading to feelings of isolation and loneliness, so get out, go to dinner, grab coffee, see a movie, go to the museum!
3. Eat healthy. Winter months usually bring holiday treats. Although they are tasty, be sure you are still getting your fruits and veggies, in addition to proteins and carbs. A weary body can lead to a dreary mind set.
4. Exercise Regularly: Did you know that studies that exercising regularly has the same impact as taking an antidepressant? A brisk 30 minute walk, take the stairs at work, go to the gym. Do something active a few times a week, and you'll find you feel better over all.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Self Harm and Eating Disoders
A scary statistic: 40.8 percent of people with eating disorders have admitted to self harm, such as cutting and burning. (http://med.stanford.edu/ism/2010/october/peebles.html). Unfortunately this same study found the physicians often miss self harming behaviors, tending to ask “patients” who fit the profile (older white female, struggling with bulimia) and not posing these same questions to teenagers and others who did fit the profile. Just like eating disorder behaviors, people rarely offer the information unless specifically asked about self harm.
Those who harm themselves are usually embarrasses, ashamed and feel guilt about it. Thus, they learn how to hide it, and tend not to volunteer the information. Add an eating disorder into the mix, and they become very secretive not only about the self harm, but also the eating disorder behaviors. This “secrecy” is not meant to be manipulative or deceitful, instead, it serves the purpose of helping the person continue to survive and cope.
Yes, I am saying that self harm and eating disordered behavior are coping skills;
Yes, I am saying that they are NOT healthy coping skills, but for those who struggle with these issues, these coping behaviors are the only tools they know that works.
There are a lot of misconceptions about people who self harm. The most common one is that the behavior is used to get attention. Interestingly enough, there are other reasons people self harm. One, is when the body is injured, the brain releases endorphins and adrenalin to help heal the body and cope with the pain. It serves as an immediate release to a probably long term problem. Second, sometime people feel so numb and depressed, self harm reminds them that they can still feel something.
Do these people ever get better? Yes, people do recover from self harm and from eating disorders. It may be a long process, with a series of slips along the way, but with the help of a trusted therapist, a eating disorder/self harm save physician, dieticians, and of course family and friends, people can and do recover from these issues.
Those who harm themselves are usually embarrasses, ashamed and feel guilt about it. Thus, they learn how to hide it, and tend not to volunteer the information. Add an eating disorder into the mix, and they become very secretive not only about the self harm, but also the eating disorder behaviors. This “secrecy” is not meant to be manipulative or deceitful, instead, it serves the purpose of helping the person continue to survive and cope.
Yes, I am saying that self harm and eating disordered behavior are coping skills;
Yes, I am saying that they are NOT healthy coping skills, but for those who struggle with these issues, these coping behaviors are the only tools they know that works.
There are a lot of misconceptions about people who self harm. The most common one is that the behavior is used to get attention. Interestingly enough, there are other reasons people self harm. One, is when the body is injured, the brain releases endorphins and adrenalin to help heal the body and cope with the pain. It serves as an immediate release to a probably long term problem. Second, sometime people feel so numb and depressed, self harm reminds them that they can still feel something.
Do these people ever get better? Yes, people do recover from self harm and from eating disorders. It may be a long process, with a series of slips along the way, but with the help of a trusted therapist, a eating disorder/self harm save physician, dieticians, and of course family and friends, people can and do recover from these issues.
Monday, October 11, 2010
How to help your child/teen cope with Death
Death in general is somewhat a taboo subject and we rarely talk about it with our children. Today I (Millie) would like to offer some suggestions on how to handle the topic of death with your children.
First of all, no matter the age, it’s important to share what’s age appropriate. Sometimes the more details make it more confusing for the younger child, but the same details can be comforting or helpful for the teen.
Toddlers to age 7 or 8: The idea of God, heaven or any sort of after life is unconceivable for children in this age group. As adults, we understand that death is final (in this world at least depending on your beliefs) permanent. However, children of this age cannot understand abstract ideas such as an afterlife. In fact there was one child who wanted to “visit” grandma, so he tried to kill himself, not realizing he wouldn’t be able to come home to his parents after seeing grandma. Luckily he was saved and is okay.
So what do you say when the child asks questions about death:
1. Be concrete: Daddy died, he loved you very much but we won’t be seeing him again. Please don’t tell the child that Daddy fell asleep and never woke up, this will make nap and bed time a challenge for both you and the child
2. Name emotions for the child: It’s really sad to not be able to see Daddy anymore. It’s not fair and its okay to be angry that he is not here. I miss Daddy too. What do you miss most? By helping them identify the emotions and letting them know its okay will help them process it better.
3. Create a Memory Book: Gather some photos, have your child draw pictures, and help your child create a story about the loved one. I’ve had some older children create many different chapters, for the younger ones, it may be more basic. This book then can be used to help comfort the child when they miss the loved one. This could just be a separate coping skill as well, draw what you liked to do with grandma, for example.
4. Read Children’s Books dealling with Death: For the Grieving Child: An Activities Manual by Suzan Jaffe, S. Jaffe, and Jayme LaFleur I Miss You: A First Look At Death by Pat Thomas and Leslie Harker A Butterfly for Brittany: A Children’s Book About the Death of Another Child, from a Child’s Point of View by Cristine Thomas What the Dormouse Said: Lessons for Grown-ups from Children’s Books by Amy Gash, Pierre Le-Tan, and Judith Viorst
If you follow a particular faith, you can use that, but be sure to be more concrete: Daddy went to live with Jesus. You know how we talk to Jesus when we pray? We can talk to Daddy the same way. Leave this to your best judgement because some children will have trouble understanding this concept.
Transitional object: If the child has lost a pet, a stuffed animal resembling the pet can help them adjust to the pet being gone. Let them name the object (9 times out 10 they will name it after the lost pet). If the child lost a family member or friend, a doll or something that reminds them of that person can be a comforting object for them as well.
Older Children and Teens: Around 10 years of age, children begin to understand more about death and the abstract ideas that you and your family may have about the after life. This is a nice time to discuss more about faith and your beliefs. Since your older child or teen is starting to find their identity, be sure to give them some space on how to grieve. Not everyone grieves the same way, so although its important to help them cope in healthy ways (w/o drinking and drugs and sex), give them some flexibility if their coping style is different than yours.
1. Have conversations as they arise: Sometimes parents don’t bring up the loved one because its too painful for them and/or they want to protect their child/teen. By ignoring it, you might be sending the wrong message. Instead, by talking about missing the loved one, or sharing a memory or continuing a tradition the loved one enjoyed, teaches the child/teen its okay to remember and be sad about the loved one being gone. A benefit of doing this (although hard to imagine shortly after a death) is that these moments eventually turn from difficult to comforting, but it takes time. Help your teen label the emotions and talk about how to cope
2. Teens might enjoy creating a memory book, blog page, or a website paying tribute to the loved one. It’s similar to the memory book noted above.
3. Schedule and Structure: Especially if the loved one lived in the home or was part of the family’s daily lives, its important to keep a predictable schedule similar to what life was like before the death. Children of any age find it comforting when they know what to expect, and need that reassurance especially after a death.
4. Take care of yourself: as adults, and especially parents, we tend to forget about ourselves because we are so concerned about how the children are doing. If you don’t take time for yourself to grieve and to get support, you won’t be very much use to your kids. Plus, you are modeling to your kids how to handle death as well.
If there are “minor” deaths that occur (ie: a turtle dies or a pet), its best not to ignore it and “replace” the pet before the child notices. Instead, these “smaller” deaths are times for the child to learn and “practice” coping with death.
If you have any questions on how to help your children cope, or you yourself need help coping, please feel free to email us at Courtney @greenleafcc.com and millie@greenleafcc.com
Toddlers to age 7 or 8: The idea of God, heaven or any sort of after life is unconceivable for children in this age group. As adults, we understand that death is final (in this world at least depending on your beliefs) permanent. However, children of this age cannot understand abstract ideas such as an afterlife. In fact there was one child who wanted to “visit” grandma, so he tried to kill himself, not realizing he wouldn’t be able to come home to his parents after seeing grandma. Luckily he was saved and is okay.
So what do you say when the child asks questions about death:
1. Be concrete: Daddy died, he loved you very much but we won’t be seeing him again. Please don’t tell the child that Daddy fell asleep and never woke up, this will make nap and bed time a challenge for both you and the child
2. Name emotions for the child: It’s really sad to not be able to see Daddy anymore. It’s not fair and its okay to be angry that he is not here. I miss Daddy too. What do you miss most? By helping them identify the emotions and letting them know its okay will help them process it better.
3. Create a Memory Book: Gather some photos, have your child draw pictures, and help your child create a story about the loved one. I’ve had some older children create many different chapters, for the younger ones, it may be more basic. This book then can be used to help comfort the child when they miss the loved one. This could just be a separate coping skill as well, draw what you liked to do with grandma, for example.
4. Read Children’s Books dealling with Death: For the Grieving Child: An Activities Manual by Suzan Jaffe, S. Jaffe, and Jayme LaFleur I Miss You: A First Look At Death by Pat Thomas and Leslie Harker A Butterfly for Brittany: A Children’s Book About the Death of Another Child, from a Child’s Point of View by Cristine Thomas What the Dormouse Said: Lessons for Grown-ups from Children’s Books by Amy Gash, Pierre Le-Tan, and Judith Viorst
If you follow a particular faith, you can use that, but be sure to be more concrete: Daddy went to live with Jesus. You know how we talk to Jesus when we pray? We can talk to Daddy the same way. Leave this to your best judgement because some children will have trouble understanding this concept.
Transitional object: If the child has lost a pet, a stuffed animal resembling the pet can help them adjust to the pet being gone. Let them name the object (9 times out 10 they will name it after the lost pet). If the child lost a family member or friend, a doll or something that reminds them of that person can be a comforting object for them as well.
Older Children and Teens: Around 10 years of age, children begin to understand more about death and the abstract ideas that you and your family may have about the after life. This is a nice time to discuss more about faith and your beliefs. Since your older child or teen is starting to find their identity, be sure to give them some space on how to grieve. Not everyone grieves the same way, so although its important to help them cope in healthy ways (w/o drinking and drugs and sex), give them some flexibility if their coping style is different than yours.
1. Have conversations as they arise: Sometimes parents don’t bring up the loved one because its too painful for them and/or they want to protect their child/teen. By ignoring it, you might be sending the wrong message. Instead, by talking about missing the loved one, or sharing a memory or continuing a tradition the loved one enjoyed, teaches the child/teen its okay to remember and be sad about the loved one being gone. A benefit of doing this (although hard to imagine shortly after a death) is that these moments eventually turn from difficult to comforting, but it takes time. Help your teen label the emotions and talk about how to cope
2. Teens might enjoy creating a memory book, blog page, or a website paying tribute to the loved one. It’s similar to the memory book noted above.
3. Schedule and Structure: Especially if the loved one lived in the home or was part of the family’s daily lives, its important to keep a predictable schedule similar to what life was like before the death. Children of any age find it comforting when they know what to expect, and need that reassurance especially after a death.
4. Take care of yourself: as adults, and especially parents, we tend to forget about ourselves because we are so concerned about how the children are doing. If you don’t take time for yourself to grieve and to get support, you won’t be very much use to your kids. Plus, you are modeling to your kids how to handle death as well.
If there are “minor” deaths that occur (ie: a turtle dies or a pet), its best not to ignore it and “replace” the pet before the child notices. Instead, these “smaller” deaths are times for the child to learn and “practice” coping with death.
If you have any questions on how to help your children cope, or you yourself need help coping, please feel free to email us at Courtney @greenleafcc.com and millie@greenleafcc.com
Friday, October 1, 2010
Greenleaf in the News!
A couple of exciting new things are happening at Greenleaf, and we wanted to let you know about these resources.
Colorado Post Adoption Resource Center (COPARC) – Adoptive families often find themselves needing extra support after their child comes home. Even though the process of adoption requires many education classes and much preparation, sometimes families can be surprised by unanticipated needs in their new family. Issues can arise with bonding and attachment, behavioral issues from traumatized children, prenatal drug and alcohol exposure, and many other challenging concerns.
For Colorado’s adoptive families, the Adoption Exchange has established the Colorado Post Adoption Resource Center (COPARC) as a way to support adoptive families in their needs after the adoption is complete or during the fostering process. Lists of adoption competent therapists, support groups, education opportunities, articles, and funding assistance are included in the database. Greenleaf (Courtney Morton, LCSW) is among the list of adoption competent therapists. Check it out at http://www.adoptex.org/site/PageServer?pagename=adoption_post_coparc_main.
Denver as a hub of cutting-edge eating disorders treatment - The Denver Business Journal recently published an article about the Eating Recovery Center's (http://www.eatingrecoverycenter.com/) expansions and how Denver is becoming a hot spot nationwide for eating disorders treatment. Greenleaf is quoted on the role of outpatient therapy in the continuum of care. Take a look at the story (subscription required) at http://denver.bizjournals.com/denver/stories/2010/09/27/story7.html.
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