Financially Mindful

Today is the 80th anniversary of the Crash of 1929 on the Stock Market, otherwise known as Black Tuesday. Many have compared our recent economic circumstances to those of 80 years ago, and yet, many would argue that people in 1929 were worse. No matter who is saying what, the truth is many of us are watching our wallets, paying off debts, trying desperatly to raise our credit scores while saving for a child's education or for retirement. Believe it or not, there is a mindful way to manage your finances. Here are a few tips to help:

1. Make a list before you grocery shop. A list will help you remain focused on what you really need and distract you from impulse buys, like an extra bag of candy for halloween or a silly back scratcher loofa.

2. At the grocery store, be aware of what is above and below you. Items tend to be cheaper on the top and bottom shelves. Notice the generic brands. They tend to be cheaper and just as good as name brands.

3. At the mall, go with a purpose. If you are just shopping for winter gloves, just go to the outdoor store, and be mindful of the section you are in. If you find yourself meandering over towards the skis, notice how nice the skis look (and how expensive), then remind yourself of the 10 year old pair you have at home, and of how wonderful it will feel to pay for those new ones in cash, on sale, next year after you have paid down those credit cards. Then go to Target and get $10 pair of gloves. Stay warm.

4. Online shopping can be dangerous. Have you ever noticed the vacant zombie look people have when they are online? It’s hard to be present when online, which makes it so easy to just click and forget about what you have spent. Before you sit down at your computer, place what you can afford to spend in cash next to you. This gives you a physical representation of cost. Then, before making a purchase, count it out, and then mindfully ask yourself: A: Do I need this? and B: Can I afford it? The answers are usually “NO” and “NO”. At that point, write it down on a “wish list” to give to family and friends for your birthday, and congratulate yourself on not being a zombie and taking action by saving some green.

5. Mindfully cook at home. It's cheaper, it can be fun, and your home will naturally be filled with wonderful aromas that will make you and your family feel cozy and comfy. My boyfriend once told me that when he first started dating me, he loved coming over because the smells from my cooking reminded him of the home he grew up in. Who knows what mindfully cooking will remind you of?

6. BUDGET. Make one. If you have never kept track or counted your receipts, try it this month. Notice where your retirement cash is going. For some of you it may be Starbucks; for others of you, it may be going to Gucchi and Dolce and Gabana. Check out Goodwill, Ross, Target, and Walmart. Great looks, for MUCH cheaper. If you find a cute outfit, put it on hold for a day. You can always come back and buy it tomorrow if you are still thinking about it. OR better yet, ask the sales lady to let you know when it goes on sale (Yes, you can really do this). It’s common to get caught up in the excitement of buying something. However, most of the time you will have forgotten about it in less than 24 hours.

These are just a few of many great tips.

Need help managing money? Check out these books for more info:

Make Money, Not Excuses by Jean Chatsky

Money Smart Women By Janet Bodnar (Associated with Kiplinger’s)

Mindful Mini-Vacation

I spent last weekend up in mountains with some friends. Usually I don’t set goals, per say, for my weekend getaways, but this time I thought I would try to be a little more mindful. Here is what I set out to do:

1. Keep TV and movies and chatter radio to a minimum.

2. Be present and fully participate in the weekend activities with my friends.

3. Avoid thinking about things outside of the weekend activities.

So how did I do? Not too bad, if I do say so myself, and the results of being mindful were amazing. The television was off 90% of the weekend, and there wasn’t any internet available! As a result, I had some amazing conversations with my friends, was able to enjoy knitting a baby sweater I’ve been working on, and I noticed that my body was relaxed. In addition, I left my watch in my bag the entire weekend, and after the first day, I realized the freedom of not having a schedule!

For most of the meals, we cooked. At first, I found myself stressed about there being enough food and hoping there was something for everyone to eat, but, after noticing this undue stress, I took a deep breath, and focused on the cooking skills of my friends and the fabulous food we were enjoying. I learned a lot just by watching and being present. Each meal was eaten at the table, again television off, and the conversation and laugter was like none I have experienced in a while.

Of course work and other worries unrelated to the weekend crept in, as they tend to do, but after noticing this, I did not chastise myself, but rather wrote down what was on my mind (so I could worry about it later if I wanted ;-) and then brought my attention back to the moment. I went for a nice walk with a friend while it was lightly snowing. Feeling the brisk air on my face and admiring the tiny intricate snow flakes on my coat reminded me of being a simple, innocent child.

I’m sure I would have had fun this weekend whether or not I was mindful, but being mindful added so much value and substance to my experience. It also helped me relax more than I probably would have.

Next time you take a mini vacation, try these things to be more mindful:

1. Take your watch off.

2. Turn off the TV and chatter radio.

3. Leave your cell phone off or on silent, and leave your computer at home.

4. Have something else to do: cooking, reading, knitting, hiking, play games or sports

5. Be kind to yourself - gently redirect when you notice you are thinking about work and other worries.

Posting by Dr. Millie M. Riss

Increasing Awareness: Foster Care in the United States

Part of increasing overall awareness is fostering a sense of mindfulness about worldly events. A few of our blogs will focus on some such realities, not to bring people down but to help offer a sense of perspective and action ideas for change.

Today we will focus on the foster care system, which has many excellent people working to make it better but is still increasingly overrun and under-funded. Some staggering statistics:

• In the year 2007, when we have the last reliable statistics, 1% of the population of children and youth had experienced substantiated neglect or abuse.
• At any given point in 2007, .7% of the U.S. population was in foster care.
• 57% of children and youth in foster care meet clinical criteria for a mental health disorder.
• The most alarming of all: Less than 3% of kids who grow up in foster care will go on to graduate from college.

African Americans and other ethnic minorities are also overrepresented in foster care, and once a child enters their teen years, they will likely age out of foster care rather than find a forever home. Teens tend to go to group homes or residential treatment facilities, where once again, there are great people on staff working to make a difference in their lives, but the kids themselves report that they need more: more attention, more love, more belief that they will be able to succeed.

In Colorado, groups of foster youth have worked in recent years to pass legislation that helps put them in a better situation when they exit foster care, like requiring case workers to present them with a birth certificate and a social security card in order to close their file and being able to have more of a voice in court about what happens to them. The kids are working to make changes for themselves, but as a society, we can still do better.

Have you ever thought about fostering, adopting, or even mentoring a child or teen in your community? If you have, pursue it. It makes such a difference to these children and youth to have even one caring adult in their life, someone they can count on to believe in them unconditionally. Remember - "To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world." (Cortez)

The Sacred

The above photo is from a small town in Texas called Leakey. Leakey has a population of 399 (at least the last time I read the sign!) and sits on the Frio River. The Frio is a long river that moves through the Texas Hill Country, surrounded by sweeping Cypress trees and rolling hills. My family has been vacationing in Leakey for close to 20 years, and it is a sacred spot to me. When I arrive on the banks of the Frio, I feel calm. I dip my feet in and am flooded with memories of family, laughter, food, and fun.

We live in a time where there is little that is sacred anymore. We are so rushed in our obligations that we forget to notice all of our opportunities connect with something beyond ourselves, which is what I think of as the sacred. When was the last time you said a blessing or thought of what you were grateful for before a meal?  When did you last spend a few minutes in the morning stretching your arms and legs, feeling thankful for all they allow you to do? What rituals are part of your day that, when you really think about them, start to seem sacred to you?

As a therapist, I feel like I have the honor of participating in a sacred profession, where I can hear and hold other people's stories. I talk a walk each morning that feels like a sacred time with myself, where I can think, look at the trees around me, and start my day centered rather than haphazard. Certain books and poems are sacred to me. Dinner with my husband over a candle is a sacred time for us to reconnect.

In the wonderful book The Slow Down Diet (2005), author Marc David talks about how a connection with the sacred helps with all aspects of life, particularly metabolism and physiology. He writes this about how to slow down and feel the sacred again: "Allow your body and your outlook to be new again. Let the journey be what it is, because that's what it will be anyway. When uncertainty reigns, let it be your guide. When your inner knowing issues forth, follow it with trust and self-respect... Before you limit yourself with a diet, expand yourself with love. Before you lose a pound, gain an insight. Before you exercise, be still. Before you attempt to cast out a bad habit, thank it for its teachings. Before you harm yourself in thought, word, or deed, pause... Before you seek advice, remember your wisdom. Before you speak, make sure it's an improvement on silence... Before you eat, give gratitude. Before you sit for long hours, dance. Before you arise, bless everything. Before you sleep, do the same. Before you live another day, agree to be here in your fullness." (pgs. 186-187)

Some text (marked with quotes) taken from David, M. (2005). The Slow Down Diet. Rochester, Vermont: Healing Arts Press.

Everyday Tasks

I just spent part of the afternoon cooking and doing dishes. I had several things on my list to cook: banana bread for the new neighbors, pesto with herbs that were going bad in my fridge, hazelnut biscuits for an upcoming trip, etc. I have evening plans, and I found myself rushing through each item, hurrying to wash and put away the dishes and wipe down the counters. Now I find myself with an extra hour before I have to leave, and I realize I rushed through my cooking without awareness. I couldn't tell you about the smell of the basil mixing with the olive oil, or how the toasted hazelnuts looked as I kneaded them with oats and flour. I have little memory of the banana bread, except for the smell of the hot loaves that has now filled my house! (Yummy.) I couldn't describe the feel of the water running over my hands as I washed the dishes, or which towel I used to dry them off. I spent this afternoon constantly focused on the next thing.

In The Miracle of Mindfulness, Thich Nhat Hanh eloquently describes how to mindfully complete everyday tasks. He talks about using our five senses to involve ourselves fully in all we do. After all, every day we have is a gift, and if we aren't present for it, then what is the point? We miss so much, like the feast of the senses that I missed out on this afternoon, constantly thinking I need to hurry, I need to hurry. When we use all of our senses to be present during each moment, even everyday "chores" can become an adventure.

Be present in what you do. Gift yourself with a sense of slowness, and take the time to experience your everyday tasks. See what you discover.

Living with Awareness

First of all, our apologies for neglecting the blog! Things have been a little hectic at Greenleaf and in life. But we’re back with a creative theme to take us through the end of the year that we hope you will find enriching…

Greenleaf will be starting a series of articles on this blog about Living with Awareness. The holiday season can be one of the most hectic times of year for people, making it a great time to really focus in on mindfulness and how to live an aware, inspired, happy life, every single day.

How do you know if there’s an area of your life that could use more awareness? It requires a little digging. An area that could use more awareness is one either that your gut is telling you to tend to, or one that you simply don’t have memory of on a day-to-day basis. Let’s take a few examples. Do you frequently find yourself wrenched from sleep by a blaring alarm, blindly grasping for the coffee pot with your slippers on the wrong feet, and moving through your day from coffee to soda to latte, stomach churning under the influence of all that caffeine? Your gut might be trying to tell you that you need more sleep. Or maybe you often come home from work and find yourself asking your husband about his day, only to discover that he has been talking for fifteen minutes and you have no idea what he said. Your lack of memory of these conversations is probably telling you to bring more awareness to that relationship.

If these examples don’t ring any bells for you, think back through the last 24 hours and see if you can come up with any happenings that seem cloudy or didn’t go the way you wanted them too. Maybe you have no idea what you ate for your last meal, or you can’t remember when you last went for a walk or sat and read a book. Then ask yourself, what area of your life could use more awareness? It could be spirituality, movement, eating, relationships, parenting, self-care, or any number of things.

The bottom line is, this blog series is going to be your chance to think through different areas of your life and see if you are living them in a “present” way. We only get one life, and making peace with that journey involves showing up for all of it, the good, the bad, and everything in between, and learning how to live in accordance with our values.

We hope you will take this journey into awareness with us.