Skipping Christmas

About ten years ago John Grisham wrote a wonderful book called "Skipping Christmas." The reason I loved it so much is that it pointed out how commercialized the holiday has become, creating more emotional and financial stress for Americans as well as others around the world.
When you stop and think about it, buying, addressing and sending Christmas cards; buying gifts for neighbors, teachers, co-workers, friends, family, and extras in case you forgot someone; baking holiday sweets and breads; going to parties at work, with friends, in the neighborhood, and family gatherings; traveling; hosting; decorating, and the list goes on. Makes me exhausted just listing it!

If you celebrate Christmas and find yourself more stressed during this time than other times in the year, take a step back and see what's actually important.

• If you are struggling financially, perhaps you can skip the cards and buy gifts for only those you want to, skip the ones you feel like you "have to".If you can't afford gifts, you can always give the gift of time. Your friends and family most likely care more about seeing you than what you give them.
  
• If decorating is not your cup of tea, its okay not to put up the blow-up Santa and glowing candy canes this year. Spend your time doing something you enjoy with your family and friends, plus you save on your electric bill.
  
• If you are struggling with your weight, don't be afraid to donate the sweets and baked goods that are given to you, but be sure to keep at least a few for yourself.
• If you tend to be overwhelmed by large groups of people, be sure to make time for yourself. Also, remember you don't have to accept every invitation you receive. Even those who love to around people feel exhausted and overwhelmed when they do too much celebrating.
  
• I am not saying cut it all out and don't do anything, but to try to decrease the stuff you feel you "have" to do, that brings you more stress. For example, I(Millie) LOVE to bake, but I don't enjoy addressing and sending cards, so I bake and skip the cards.
  

Although some folks may give you a hard time when they notice you are cutting back (read the book, they have some great examples of this!), remind yourself of the peace of mind you are maintaining knowing that you are focusing what is important to you this time of year.

On a side note, when Jesus was born, there weren't holiday parties, Christmas cards, Santa or reindeer (although I love the idea of Santa), there weren't tv cameras and Mary wasn't on MTV's "16 and Pregnant". There was less chaos in general in the world. I imagine it to be a quiet time that brought peace, hope and joy to those who were present and/or heard the good news.

If you celebrate Christmas, I encourage you to focus on finding that peace in whatever way makes sense to you, and try to avoid the extra stress induced activities that don't bring you joy.

Tis the season of giving and anxiety

Tis' the season of giving!

This is a time of year when there is a lot of opportunities for gift giving and receiving. Unfortunately these same heartfelt moments can also be accompanied by worries of giving the "right" gift, getting enough gifts for the people you know and love; as well as the worry of not giving a gift or an "equal"gift to someone who gave you something. Given the economy, people are in different financial situations, and may be experiencing these concerns more this year than 5-10 years ago.

Gift giving is supposed to warm the heart, both yours and the person you are giving to. Adding anxiety about the type of gift takes away the enjoyment one feels when thinking of others. If you find yourself in this category, remember that the person will feel good for just being thought of by you, no matter how big or small, expensive or thrifty the gift is.

What if I receive a gift from someone that is more than the one I bought for them, or what if I didn't get him/her anything but a christmas card?

If you find yourself asking this question, you might be "keeping score". Let me ask you this:

Do you keep track of the gifts you receive and compare it to a list of people you gave gifts to?

Do you give with the expectation to receive?

My guess is that you most likely are giving from your heart. You saw something that reminded you of the person and you gave it to them for a special occasion or just cause.

The person giving you the gift cares about you, and probably is not giving you something with the expectation of receiving something of equal value in return.

My advice, graciously accept the gift and thank the giver.

This holiday season, try to focus being thankful for the gifts you have received, be gracious to the giver, and try to stop the worrying.